Rikers Island, NYC

You know everyone in there is tough. There are quiet dudes, but you can’t sleep on anyone. You got Bloods in there, Crips, Latin Kings and even gangs I never heard of like 6 Guns and Primetime. There are fights all the time. Over the dumbest shit, too. Like you got a muffin that someone finds pretty and they’ll rock you for it.

“John Doe” is his name. He resides in Harlem. Polo Grounds to be exact. I’ve known him since 9th grade. He was always an A student who rarely got in trouble in school. The problem was outside of school. He was recently released from Rikers Island. He is seventeen years old, 6’ 2”, 175 pounds. Here’s what he has to say:

Edwin: So what’s up? How have you been?

John: Man, I’m just happy to be out. It ain’t easy being in there for a year and some change. It changes you big time. Your whole mind state changes. It’s been very hard for me to adapt to the real world again. I mean out here dudes look at me funny all the time, like they want to get punched in the mouth. And for fear of going back I chill, I relax, and just swallow it. You know recently I signed up to a YMCA and playing ball has been a way for me to vent, and just not get into trouble. By the way, for the record, you can’t beat me in ball. Other than that, I feel like my family has turned their back on me. I guess they’re just tired of my shit. And they should be, I been in-out of criminal places for a long time now. I’m actually surprised that they even gave me this long. I guess it’s just frustrating to know that you come from a place where no one cares about you, to a place where people stop caring.

Edwin: Speaking of Rikers, what is it like in there?

John: Oh man, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be, but it’s crazy. (He’s been looking at the floor for a while now, I’m guessing he doesn’t want to remember.) You know everyone in there is tough. There are quiet dudes, but you can’t sleep on anyone. You got Bloods in there, Crips, Latin Kings and even gangs I never heard of like 6 Guns and Primetime. There are fights all the time. Over the dumbest shit, too. Like you got a muffin that someone finds pretty and they’ll rock you for it. They don’t care. And they don’t care because the guards don’t care. There was this one guard, his name was Z. and he told me like it was. I had asked him why the guards don’t take affirmative action and he was like, “Kids want to be tough, so let them. Don’t be a tough guy on the street, come here and expect the guards to bail you out in a fight.”  And that’s coming from a guard! But there’s more crazy shit. Like you would expect the toughest dudes to hold the most weight in there, but actually it’s the kids with the most food who have a lot of power. You know I don’t, well, actually I do mean to brag. I was one of those kids who had the most food.  Oh and another thing, that whole “dropping the soap” business really doesn’t exist in Rikers. Dudes just don’t get down like that.

Edwin: What a lot of people don’t know is that you used to get incredible grades in school. The trouble was outside of school. Could you talk a little about that?

John: Well, yeah. I mean when I was in school it was all love. I didn’t have to watch my back so constantly and plus all the school work kept my mind busy. When I was in school, I didn’t have to worry about my mother screaming, or my little brother crying. In a way, I found peace in there. Plus everyone was always nice. It’s easy to do good in school, ‘cause I found it real cool. Now when I got to the block, everyone expects me to do this and be this because of my big brother. He was the toughest dude anyone knew. With crazy street cred. He was that guy that could literally get away with murder. So yeah, I guess I just got caught up in all that nonsense. I never wanted to do any of the stuff, I just always felt I had to. You know, live up to the legend. It sounds corny but it’s true.

Edwin: You talk a little about home life and how it was bad. Could you give me a little more info as to what it was like?

John: That’s crazy personal, but you my man so fuck it. Oh and you can’t use my real name for this interview.

Edwin: (I nod my head.)

John: Well, my mother isn’t the nicest person in the world. Anyone who calls my house is approached with attitude. She’s just an all around nasty person. Like she’s my mom, and I love her, and I know she loves me, but she doesn’t show it. My father isn’t around, he lives in Philly. And when I lived there for a year…..Ohh  man, that’s a whole nother interview. But my step dad he’s o.k. I mean he gives me money every now and then. I give him props though for being able to stand my mom though, that takes a lot. Anyway there’s my brother, who for fear of his life stays home playing Xbox for the majority of the time. And finally my two little siblings who are annoying. Yup, it gets pretty chaotic in our household. That is why I pretty much spend my days outside with the goons. And that’s also why I get into a lot of trouble.

Edwin: Listen, you are a smart dude who doesn’t avoid the truth. I’m glad you more or less know the root of why you into problems. So what is in store for you, what does the future hold for John Doe?

John: It’s cool you asked that because I hope to have a positive future. I want to get my G.E.D or even see if I could go back to high school and get a diploma. I ultimately want to become a marine biologist.

Edwin: (My jaw drops.)

John: Yeah, I want to become a marine biologist. Marine animals are great and very majestic. I can already tell by your face that you still in shock. I did some research and it’s an extreme field but I think it’ll be great and I’ll do good. It don’t matter how much I have to pay. I mean I’ll get loans, financial aid will cover some, and I’ll sell bud. Nah I’m kidding about the bud. But I feel I want to get out of the hood and go into/explore, I don’t know…the abyss. I mean as of right now, like I said, I’m staying out of trouble by playing ball. And since I got locked up, I been out the game for a minute. So I guess it did me good. Point blank, I want to get my life together before it’s to late. And yo, you should come to the YMCA so we could ball it up together. I’m telling you all I need is something to keep me busy.

Edwin Rodriguez was born in New York City, on the Lower East Side to be exact. He is the only boy in a family of five. He loves sports, music, and oddly enough…writing essays. He currently attends Lehman College in The Bronx and is majoring in psychology. Today Edwin can be found on the Lower East Side trying to make an impact on his community.